myeyes

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my eyes see through you where you are hoping to fly into the littlest drop of dew in the lawn.
and when you land will your feet be perpendicular with the sky or the ground.
and if i was able to be that shining star in your sky – how many angles would you collect
before your circle were round.
move against the shelter of your past
and help me see into the collective conscious of our future.
for i wait for you to come through in colors in dreams
i wait for yours to assume the namely property and i wait to know.
lamps cloud the viscous porridge while the simplest intonality
is listened to in life – while hoping there is a shortcut after
though there is naught for save the queen
and we shall all inherit the meek.  where the meager is not wrong
and only the complications of man’s inability to conceive of perfection
the best argument against an organized religion that breathes lust into innocence
forthright will you acknowledge that to judge is to err and yet to make a decision
is nothing short of calling someone wrong and self right – therefore promoting
self-righteous umbilical formulae beseeching ~ i am the answer
and these my followers – listen to my interpretation and you are then saved
and now you are right and you are accepted and you will be upheld
and exalted amidst the rest of us – for while we live on this planet we may be happy
and yet i do not dispute that god is lord – or somewhat therefore of – and acknowledge the
potential of such existence – however i refuse to dispute that other’s beliefs are actual -
least in the notion that it is true to them for it is how they believe.  but are they the saved
and mine the damned.  for do not pass judgement for you are not the judge.
call out not upon your archaic notions and words – for such as the world spins so doth it change
and to disknowledge the progression of this life of this sanctity of society is to disservice yours all.

shines against the winds of grain

img_2694may those ample shadows come again through the responses oft yet merry again – may mine imperfections be those attributes i cannot escape for the reason that i must complete the cycle again – may my beguiling impersonation oft self recognize the truth that builds inside the dark of night when dreams fall through the ceiling beams and my greyest dungeon is naught for love – there inside the purple haze of downright loveable characterization i would again be met with surreal improvisation against the backdrop of mourning dew – there the spider’s webs hath drawn the guiding fibers all set to see – and how the managerial preposition sets inside the walls of life to me – i would neigh be set upon the sleigh at noon nor ready to surf at three – again the willows will weep for you and again they will smile for me – there was never such the lightest bright as when the lite-brite came on again in the morning – for christmas eve brought with us and with me such a warm and glowing feeling for self and for family – the appetizers the meals and the beverages – all glorious in recognition.

so then when the sounds have subsided and inside myself there is the respite of peace and sanctuary again am i reminded of the design and the malleable formation situated amidst the luvable salutations and glee.  happy are the waves crashing into the shore and so is the same of the xmas tree i have made out of a xmas light net upon the wall of the little beach house in which we occupy this holiday season.  may the good tidings of xmas be upon us this joyous two day climax of events upon the winter and the end of another year – for as twothousandeight leaves us we are succeeded by the 09 and look towards the joys and wonder that will befit us this next year of funloving and times of plenty inside the warmest lights of love.

I really enjoy pepsi co. new can design – i think it is a wonderful attraction for my drinking enjoyment.  i had used to enjoy a good can of pepsi now and then when as a child i would voyage over to grandma helen’s house – and imbibe upon a nicely carbonated beverage – then over the years of aging and experience i had switched to coke classic – as my mother drinks coke classic and it just made sense – though then the other night after a hard day of manual physical labor i was sitting down at cafe mambo and ordered a coke and was brought a pepsi so i drank my pepsi and oh snapp wow fizz bang ding that was a tasty soda.  a little slice of lime in the glass of ice – a little sip of heaven’s mana may have been for all there was wonderful in that moment occurred to me in my mouth and thanks to the wonderful design i loved it even more.  so then today at costco i bought myself a thirtysix pack of pepsi cans – so i have that pleasurable enjoyment to look forward to thirtysix times over the course of the next three weeks probably.  thank you pepsico for bringing me back – and remembering watching the wizard of oz at said grandmother’s house and seeing a pepsi commercial where a space shuttle was launching into outerspace and thinking to myself – yes.  i am the next generation.  and this is my beverage.  and of course – next time i am there – i will be purchasing the thirtysix pack of mountain dew – for i am a sucker for that deathgreen hippiecrack in a can.  yummers.

proportional to some

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though the impromptu ambition glides dangerously close to the hedonism splashing into the sides of the walls of the luge track, and though my back is not connected save but for discs, still i cannot phantom the ingenious design oft respondent towards mine misgiving.  yay, though there were a reason for to say, and howlie thine impersonal injustice is not thrice misgiven, still there belies through the banyan tree shade any number of blades of grass hoping to be experienced in the mid-eighties of the wednesday morning air.  and so while my haphazard distraction comes crashing down on my filial promissory shangrila i yet gaffle at the warmest side of the waffle, and place it back in the pan buttery and melting against the seared edges until the steam rises lightly and gently into the hazed kitchen morning light. 

chivalry completes the transgression – improbable and yet highly inline with the likelihood of impersonalization.  yeti comes into the picture perfectly aligned with the pirate ship sailing unto the shore of request – his long lockes of shredded and mangled grey and white camouflage hair and fur covers his eyes but still he sees, yeti – and while the skull and crossbones fly his armistice is safely partitioned inside the barrels often collapsed within the angrily partitioned apartments denoted for rental.  find inside your demon’s heart a weary and worn path and ye shall not regret and ye shall not repent and ye shall not find forgiveness anywhere but underneath the moonlit trials of the sky where the darkest hour is lit by the path of those before you and those coming aft will nigh recompense your surfeit imposition for the signs dangling off the lightpole are infatuated and information grows freely twixt the sidewalk and the curb – where the boulevard grass is cut by an hourly wage worker – where the debris in the street is collected by hand and swept up to keep from dinging the precious cargo carriers of lexus, bmw, porsche, and more.

come clean inside the broken shelf mount and remember to compensate the book ends with a portrait of loosely stained tea leaves, for there is another grief-struck mourner harbored neath the complications that surround imbibation and simplify any less than hopeful carousel of shiftless grief hoping to compound with the faceless and harbinger simplicity whereunto a lie is complex and the truth more simple, where the edges of words are broken and the face of disaster masks her features by playing off the fortunes of the ages.  how easy tis it to assume no responsibility – how improper to blame all this on the man in the sky and someone’s interpretation of what he wanted for them to do with their conscious life.  if this is a respectable society – i would hope that we could occult some modern form of actualization and re-educate our spiritual gurus into a more contemporary determination of the love that hath been formulated through the centuries by those with the greenest thumbs and the property values of life along with the mortgage crash and the trillion dollars marks have been affiliated with the greediest of shafts, where the spines are grown from the murky waters usually holden neath the clouds as they ascend through the seventy foot root tips and the happiest showers fall gently through the glowering pissed off consumers not happy that they spend more a week than they take home – and how long will we want to walk with those who chew off our fingers rather than those who kiss our fingers and toes – and how long will the gumballs, caramel popcorn, chips, soda, candy apple green apple sour straws, nougat, chocolate covered mac nuts, strawberry tea kool aid, and respect be bottled and not labelled for individual resale while we hold our hands out to be filled with love the dirt and pesticides come flooding back from those whose lips breathe lies from emory moments where they settle for the worthless intonation and there is naught a bright moment in their unrespect for the living or the gracious and their host is buried inside the grown gravity of shelter.

come inside the hapless indiscretion – and repeat when you would like to wash clean from the heartless indiscript proliferation – help me wander into the night darkly – and watch as my hands are shred against the leaves of the cane – while inside the barky stalk there is something lovely and sweet to feel and to taste these leaves will leave my holding anything sliced up and the red of mine life juice is blended with the pure love of the sugar – and this is the moment that the gecko falls from the wall – consumed with blending into the bug-consumption his little feet hath slipped from the edge of the reality checks made payable to any proprietary party.  do not be whispering when the day comes to a completion and do not see in the windows when the greatest approach is the one that is unseen.

were it up to me – i was ready to commit to this improbable notion – however then when it became not a reasonable effigy – now how would that seem to look when viewed outside the local situation and impressions are hopefully – and there was a reason that this light line was built inside the momentary hope – and while the barge is plenty safe for cargo and vehicles – do not rest your elbows on the thoughts of those whom are older than you or those who own more property than you – for you will be diced and shrouded in the delicate flavors that they have been cultivating for generations – only to leave upon your shirtsleeve and trade for your heart – because you cannot truly ever know that this love will make it through those difficult times – and you cannot ever instruct the design of another’s heart – so that when they begin to stray from your devotion you will be hardset to manifest enough emotion to allow them a stay.

hold your head up high and walk over the edge before you are ready to cease.  don’t be coddled by this fooling disease.  beware your causation when you realize that this was what it was worth fighting for and yet given up so easily – and this was a tragedy – though those are not as nice to see as the comedic – so allow that to simply exist forever – this tragedy.  this wicked tragedy.

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tribulations comfort my butterflies – they flutter by my mind and against the grain of my sky – cause my head is full of flutter and so the distance to the edge is real. i will hold unto the ledge while my hands are quivering and i will wait for your internal response – not the one that comes from your head or your hands – but mine own heart inside your breath. listen closely as you remember to complicate the situation and do not be dismayed if the edge of confusion comes before clarity – cause just aint that much shit worth purifying and if there was a reason for you to know then you would not be asking – and if there were a profit to be had than it would not be marginalized beneath the porridge style hamper leaning against the mirror. if you believe in the distance to the sky – then you know there must be a realism available to the collective consciousness and waiting is nothing more than being where you are when you are there. hold on fast to the slowly shifting parallel and mingle with those thoughts that you held beneath the water till they were easy to manipulate – and shelf that notion until the bungled fortress completely wandered off the property and held itself by hands on ledges not underwater but not above either – cause there was ways that this happened – and ways that it did not – but it is of no matter now – for the belief is in the assumption – and the correctional course of action will be taken. not later than sooner but quicker than not.

complication makes me break the glass

I’m not really sure what to say.  Rain pounds the dry pavement and the echelon of tepid sound imitates symposium.  I feel as though my golden tears are shed in vain – and there is nothing that I can do to collect them in a silver bucket to make a river of smiles.  You have decided to move on from my love –  against the grains of panels holding up the sky – along the walls that make this sound barrier to the soul; you have decided that I am not what you need in your life.  I think that is what hurts the most – it’s not that I could have done something differently – perhaps had I not left we would be at this place in a different way – but I think there or here I would be in the same exiled fashion as I am now.  It hurts more than I fucking know what to do with.  Tears intermittently fall from my face and wet my cheeks and shirt – my brain circles and cycles through that which I could have done – could do still – want to do – have do to – and there is nothing that I can do.  You don’t want me to call you – you don’t want to talk to me.  I don’t know what to do with that right now.  I feel as though I have placed myself into this life now that I am here – and I don’t want to be here anymore but I cannot go back and so I just need to chew it up really hard even though it tastes like shit and find a way to cope.  Years past I would have drank thousands of dollars on this one – or smoked a forest of trees or smelled the cold snow for weeks, but now that I have nothing like that to do with – I am stuck here to feel each centimeter of pain – each millimeter of suffering that my heart and mind places upon me.  It feels like one thousand missing pieces in a one thousand piece puzzle – and I don’t even have the picture to look at on the back of the box even if I had a piece to place – I would not know where to begin.  I guess that I never really thought that I would have lost you – so now that I have lost you I am living a plan that I had not anticipated.  I really didn’t think that you would leave – and I had planned on returning to a lovely and happy existence with you.  I had thought that I would be able to see you and know you and be with you – the demur portrait etched unto my forearm, scantily clad notions whisper inline, morose details falling yet still, dynamic and swirling inside this culpable discretion and now that you are saying no no no I am here left alone on the cliff and looking down just isn’t safe anymore.  My heart is telling me that this is not a right place to be and to feel – I want to lay in bed four weeks and think about how much I am feeling hurt right now – and quantify my emotional pain and justify my self pity and feelings of selfless worth.  I cannot quite decide what the best course of action for me at this time will be – I want to run – but I am already on a rock in the middle of the ocean – so there is not much more that I would get to were I to leave.  And leave to where my money is running dry I was planning on seeing you in a couple of weeks – and now I may never see you again – in my life.  Not on my birthday will I get to hear you tell me that you love me nor on Christmas will I get to see your smiling face at the diamonds I had bought for you and as I gave them to you you slowly unwrapped the box and peeked inside and decided that you loved them but not as much as you love me.  Now I am not sure – cause I guess when you love someone you can’t really leave them for someone else emotionally – and I feel that now that you have left me – or are in the process of leaving me – that maybe you did not love me to quite the extent that I had understood it – it is a quandary for my mind and one that I must figure out on my own now that I am lone – and one that I wish that I could forget about – however I cannot forget about it – because it is something that is inside me – something that lives in me with each breath I take and each time I blink my eyes.  I will think fondly of the times we had together – and truly do my best to understand why I had to feel the love for you and with you only to have it ripped outside of me and watch my heart on the sidewalk as it tries to pump itself back into my chest – but fails – and lays limp at my feet – in a puddle of dried blood – hoping that there is a way to resuscitate it, knowing that I will just have to wait for it to grow back – but since it has had to grow back before – perhaps I am out of heart tissue – which is what I fear – that now that your love is walking away I will never have another love as deep or for me what felt to be so true – and though we had our quibbles – I knew deep down that I wanted you to be me and to be my family and to share our genes and reproduce a wonderful onslaught of soldier children capable of educating and defacing the millions of bad seeds being planted daily.  Lets face it – there is truth in soup and when the soup makes you sick shit ain’t right.  So I guess I should have listened or should have known that I was setting myself up for sadness and failure in so many ways – and now that you are giving chance x-number to another reality one that has aged and grown a layer of rust so that the joints don’t flow and the poetry doth not prevail that I cannot even count anymore – I guess my pain and hurt and regret for leaving and second guessing and abandonment and embarrassment for being such a pussy over losing you and my pain and my anger and my bitter and my lackluster vision of the next year and my discretionary belief that I will be sad for x-number of days I cannot even count – and how to daily and moment to moment ignore that gnawing sickness that now lives in my chest where once I was filled with love.  May something happy find me soon – for the stress of my daily living has gotten to me now where I am on the verge of frieking out – and will something make me smile soon truly and deeply – for I am sick of my fingers bleeding and sick of being covered in dirt and sick of not knowing where I am going to lay my head or where my next warm meal is coming from.  I guess I am asking whatever power that may be – for be there a call to god then maybe I need to become a religious cause apparently my shit just ain’t all stitched out lately and my grand plans for good things to come just went pear and the girl that I love is gone – and now I have to fucking deal with it.  Dreams cloud the vision where the air is cloudy and the particles infiltrate my memory - I breathe if not to live and caress my ego slightly so that the purring of mine affection is loudest in mine own head – and the compatibility of me with self is that which I must now focus on a digital representation of mine own apparition of psyche. If this is part of my plan – I hope that one day I can look back and smile fondly at what a silly uncle kale for all my tears and pain.  And tears.  I love you.  Goodbye I guess.  Goodbye for now but not forever but I guess as you say maybe forever this time.img_5056

acampana

meandering amidst the shallow shoals often combined with sights the sound
distends my improper visage though I was willful in my recompense
should my fountain agree with your vantage I would I were able
any complimentary monetary settlement will find favor
and though the portrait is nothing new for semblance
yet let us remember those who fight and die to fight
deserts and hills of sand and fire
guns broken jeeps and rivers
fanciful the carrot cakes and the almond sticks
makeshift registers ringing up makeshift consumers
our plight seeks approval from the dollar bill amiable and fond
combined seclusion impersonates the impregnation of soliloquy
img_2498ambivalence trumps concession
allow for one more gaze into the starry abyss before drifting away
I won’t walk where you will not be found
I won’t seek that which cannot be now.
goodbye for now but not forever
take your pills and swallow the covers
hide your head inside your hands and weep
for my week is short and my patience longer and my tears
tear shrapnel shaped holes in the fabric of my mind
I put my soul on hold now I must take the call
before my minutes expire and mummify me
save one of my limbs or my neck
and catapult my mummified corpse into outer space.
they will find me.
they will restore me.
I shall return as one of them.  Mummify me please
when I expire, save one of my limbs or my neck
and catapult me into space.

broken thinking

sleep remembers me when i was ready for a nite to come;

antiphone

antiphone

i was happiest when my mind melded with the portraits on my sky;
i never meant to wander further into the ocean than i could breathe;
but there is days and ways for me to make my moment matter:
and so as i grift off to slumber i will remember that sleep needs me
and wants me to fall into a nicely jammed property skimmed along the skyline;
move into the valley and hold unto the brisk furniture
for soon as the momentum begins to climb;
we will walk around the lawn and pick up the avocados fall as they may.
don’t decide to decry until the fortunate vision has closed her eyes
and populate the wisdom with wishes and gravity implicated with lush brevity.
and love.  more than a pinch or a dash – but enough to know.